First Blog Post Revisited

Friday, April 15, 2005

The Cutlery Drawer

I have heard many clichés that directly contradict my personal experience with friendship. Clichés like, “…the third party”, or “two’s company but three’s a crowd”. I discovered some friendships need a wheel or a crowd. Ours needed a knife!

Know one likes being the oddball or that little nagging voice that says, “You’re different and you don’t belong here.” I’ve lived much of my life feeling anxiously misunderstood. But in spite of my insecurities I found a safe-haven, or more correctly, it found me.

In the fall of 1990, Julie entered my life. She saw me from across the room and decided to be my friend. She then pursued me with great vigor, visiting my office throughout the day and stopping by my dumpy trailer-home in the evenings. She lavished friendship on me, smothered me, that’s just her way. Like a kitten at play, she moved in from behind, pounced and latched on with all her affections.

That same Fall I met Renee. Our union was more like sand and water in a cement mixer. We had been “dumped” together on a rotten job. We spent 5 days bonding under the intensity and misery of it. By the end of the week a foundation had been poured, the concrete had begun to set, a friendship had begun.

I invited both Julie and Renee to spend an evening with me and in one miraculous weekend a three-cord friendship was formed. I can only attribute our ability to make and maintain a friendship of three to the Lord. It is certainly an anomaly in female relations. But for us, each woman has something unique and special to contribute and the dynamic has always lacked when the number is less than three.

We quickly learned that Julie and Renee “fit together like two spoons in a drawer,” Renee being the lover of affection and Julie being the lavish giver. The two of them would have to continually yank this cold introvert into their cutlery drawer, labeling me the “knife”. Together they’ve taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

I’ve never been one to readily show affection. I tend to stiffen when physical contact moves in my direction. I have never been able to explain it because oddly enough I do like a warm hug now and again. However, I cannot resist the urge to brace myself when someone moves toward me. I am very grateful for two special people who were never threatened by this cold, stiff, knife.

I often wondered at their love for me. I was a knife in more than outward displays. Often my opinions varied. My ideas and thoughts differed in ways that have made most people steer clear. I tend toward legalism. I like routines and schedules. Order and structure are my middle name! (More attributes of a knife-like personality) I will never understand their acceptance of my rigid ways.

The best I can do is imagine they found my ways quirky and endearing. I know they often laughed me off, teaching me to lighten-up and laugh a little too. But I prefer to think they needed me. Maybe I was their balancing factor, their voice of reason, the one to keep them in line. (Hey, it helps me to feel better that way!) I’ve often tried to figure out why they kept this knife around.  The truth is the whys don’t really matter.  But, maybe it is because there is a little knife in them too. I know they’ve pierced my heart with a deep, deep kind of love. “As iron sharpens iron, so one [wo]man sharpens another.” It takes other knives to keep one sharp. They’ve sharpened me in so many ways. Because of Julie and Renee I know how to laugh and to love, I know how to relax and to enjoy life and I know there is always a welcome embrace for even a knife like me.